One Family's Story
May 2007

There are so many stories within our adoption story and they continue to
occur. I remember the "waiting" period well. That was very difficult for
me and our older daughters. My husband, Jon, seemed to deal with it
better. I took the opportunity to go on a painting spree and repainted
most of the rooms of our house. It kept me from losing my mind.

One of my favorite memories about our whole process was the birth and
going home event. This is our story:

We had been talking with our birthmother for six months before the birth
of our baby. I felt as though we had a good relationship, but there were
awkward moments in our conversation and I wasn't certain that we had built
her trust. So when she asked us to be present for the birth, I was amazed
and thrilled, but also a little scared. Birthing a baby is such a
personal, intimate thing. Would we say and do the right thing? Also, how
would we manage it, logistically? We lived 1200 miles away from San
Antonio. Babies are frequently early or late. Adoption, as most of you
have discovered, is beyond our control. We decided to make decisions as
best we could and accept what happened. The whole thing unfolded like a
well-directed movie.

We packed up our van with our two older daughters, (took them out of
school for a month) our dog, baby things, etc, and left home about two
weeks previous to Jennifer's (our birthmother's) due date. We stopped to
see family along the way, and enjoyed the adventure of it all. I trusted
that we would be there when we needed to be. We arrived in San Antonio on
April 9. The baby was due on April 15. We were able to meet Jennifer for
the first time at ASA in a little cottage they have on the property. The
photographs we had of her didn't do her justice. She was incredibly
lovely, reserved and very ready to have her baby.

We stayed in an extended stay hotel that ASA had recommended. The girls
loved it. The first few days, we explored the city and kept our cell phone
on. As we got closer to the due date, we checked out the location of the
hospital and stayed close by to the hotel. Our good friend, Katie, had
arranged to fly down for the birth. She, too, had to "pick a date." She
chose April 16th. Jennifer's MD had decided that she could be induced on
her due date, if baby hadn't made her appearance. So on the evening of the
15th, I spoke with Jennifer on the phone. She had just been admitted and
they had started the pitocin. She assured me that she would call when
contractions started. I had trouble falling asleep. I expected her call
anytime. It was "Fiesta" in San Antonio and we couldn't wait to meet our
little party girl.

We woke up early on Saturday, the 16th. I had expected to be called in
the middle of the night. Our plan was to pick up Katie at the airport and
proceed to the hospital. Katie's flight was due to arrive at 10:30 am. I
told Jon that I needed to get to the hospital right away. I had this
nagging feeling that I had to be there. He dropped me off on the way to
the airport. I ran up to Jennifer's room to find her in the midst of
labor. They had given her some medication for the pain, and she wasn't
alert enough to call me.

Some people had said to me that having another baby this way, (adoption)
was easier than laboring myself. I just chuckled. It would take months to
explain it.....how it was much harder to watch Jennifer go through it than
if I could have done it for her.

When I labored with our first two, I had a nurse, a midwife and Jon
with me. They took such good care of me. They took care of my discomfort
with back rubs, etc and coached me through the contractions. I would have
done that any day again over watching Jennifer go through the pain of labor
with a baby that she wasn't going to take home.

The floor was super busy and she had been alone in there. I was able
to read the monitor and talk her through the contractions. At some point,
her mom came in and we both coached her. The nurses were absent, though
and believe me, I made a spectacle of myself making sure they took care of
her. At one point, I remember going up to the desk and telling them that
Jennifer was having hard labor in there. They said, "Oh yes, we can see
that on the monitor." I replied, "Well, maybe you need to be seeing that
in person." Looking back now, I can't believe I said these things. I am
normally not at all like that. Already, though, I was in my "Mother Bear"
mode. We met some wonderful nurses there, though, and her doctor was also
very nice. I think they were just having a busy day.

At 12:30 pm, Jennifer's water broke and the baby was right there. I went
out to get the nurses and everyone was flying about getting ready. As soon
as I saw them check for the cord, get out a sterile sheet, gloved hands and
a bulb syringe, I whispered that she could let the baby come. The doctor
wasn't quite ready, but a nurse was. Out gushed our beautiful baby girl,
Joseline, all pink with a lusty cry. My eyes welled up with tears.
Jennifer was spent. I ran out into the hall and my family with our friend,
Katie, had just arrived off the elevator as the doctor was running down the
hall to catch Joseline. It was all light and tears and I will never forget
those moments. Katie picked the right date, after all.

Jennifer was able to sign two days later, though we went through some
real fear that she would not be able to. I attribute her strength to: her
strength, her family support (her mom was by her side most of the time
encouraging her to go through with it) and the months of skilled
counseling and aid she got through ASA. Jon and I had told her at one
point in a letter that if she thought she could take the baby home and take
good care of her and give her the life she wanted her to have, then we
would understand and she should do that. In the end, Jennifer told us that
she could see how much we loved her right away and this is what helped her
let us take Joseline home.

Our family still cannot believe our good fortune. Our Joseline is a
marvel of two-year-old-ness, complete with giggles, songs, and affection.
Sometimes, we can't take our eyes off of her. We had so many guardian
angels along the way and continue to have. The whole process opened my
eyes to the miraculous events that happen in our midst every single day. I
give thanks for Nikki, Leah, Linda, Lupe and all the wonderful people at
ASA. They do their job so well and communicated with us every step of the
way. I am pleased to write about our story and I love hearing about other
people's stories. Each of you will have your own story someday soon. So
as my wise and steadfast friend, Katie, says,.....Let the Magic Begin.....
Love, Ellen, Joseline's mom